I was scrolling through the internet when I saw this. I then ended up watching the whole clip.
“This is surreal,” I thought to myself. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This is like watching a superhero movie or something. This is basically how characters in fictional stories live their lives! At first, I was awestruck but then I felt a pang of jealousy, somehow. I mean, when will I be able to experience things like that? Let alone, I’ve never really been able to even take a step out of my comfort zone. It’s quite saddening, really. How come awesome people like that exist? And how do they do it? xx
Well, anyways, this is just me moping how I choose to live a plain life. Or how the plain life chose me. Either way, it doesn’t really matter. I know that no matter how much I try to imagine and long for doing insanely, dangerous, adrenaline-pumping, once-in-a-lifetime thrills like that, they’ll never transpire. Especially that I’m sorta like this paranoid person ever since I can remember. So, in retrospect:
When I was three, I was scared of pools. There was this one instance when my family decided to go swimming on a Sunday afternoon. I remember not dipping myself in the pool. My elder brother and sister and even my dad urged me and motioned me over to walk over a 2-feet pool but I didn’t. I cowered and just stayed close to my dad on the poolside, and watched as my brother and sister swam. I swear that this memory of that particular event is as clear as ever and has never been swept off my mind. We have an old picture of that scene on our photo album back in our home in the province.
Not to mention, theme parks. Sure, they’re fun and the rides are just a great way to kill time. I can spend a day in theme parks without ever getting bored. But rides such as roller coasters or anything that concerns heights, and speed, and whatnot are just considered to be too extreme for me.
Let’s start with roller coasters. I’ve watched and heard people scream their lungs out as they ride them. I’ve never liked riding roller coasters. Tried it once in Disneyland, just for the experience of it, and that was my first and last. I told myself that I’ll never ride another one again after experiencing Space Mountain.
Last time I went to an amusement park with a friend, I tried Super Viking and after the ride, I felt the inside of my guts twisted, my head swam, and my knees trembled. We had to lay on our backs on the bay side to rest until my head no longer whirled from confusion, and I no longer heard my heartbeat drum on my chest. Okay, so the last part was an overstatement. But I was that scared, okay? It took a while before we got back to our footing and even then, my knees wouldn’t stop trembling. Lmao.
Anyways, don’t even get me started with zip-lines. I tried it once and I was so scared that I just turned mute. I couldn’t find my voice and I was unable to speak; I even forgot how to scream. I just held on to the “rope” wanting it to be over, not letting go as I watched the ocean below me, ready to consume me the moment something goes wrong with the line and I fall down deep into the cold, dark, bottomless pit. The ride was only, more or less, 2 minutes, but, for me, it lasted for like an eternity.
It’s generally fun to watch people do it but when I put myself in their place, I turn “stiff” all of a sudden. Also, I just generally spend my spare time alone reading or watching series instead of with a group, anyway. And I already find comfort in that. That is why, as I type these words now, I realize that things like these are just impossible for me and that they can only happen in my dreams. So… yep, dream on, me. xx