Love · Musings

After Being Gone for Six Months


After being gone for six months, I’ve decided to rise from the dead again. The reason why I opted not to update this blog now and then was because of certain matters I couldn’t reveal on public. (I discussed the reason on one of my blog entries, The Last Post) With that span of six months, I actually made 2 new blogs here in WordPress, for which I had the liberty to write personal, gibberish things about my life once more. Sadly, those blogs of mine didn’t last long. For me, they were only short-term antidotes, to fill up what was missing in my life. Perhaps because I’ve found yet another source of inspiration to write once again. I’ll hide him under the name of King(Hahaha!. That’s the first name that crossed my mind. Please bear with me. Well, it’s better than Dakota and Jamison, anyways ((: ).

I admit, I have this tendency to have a multitude of small, happy crushes simultaneously. Currently, I have three hahaha but I’m certain that they are all just infatuations. I blame my friend for this- for always teasing me about it. Anyways, this King guy, is my classmate and groupmate, as well,  in one of the courses I’m taking right now. I wasn’t even sure how I ended up liking him in the first place. First off, he’s not that cute/handsome/popular guy. He’s just your typical nice, shy-type-of-guy, whom no one even dares to notice. I even had a conversation some time ago with my younger sister, in which he was the topic. I didn’t ask her directly if she knew this guy named King since he looked too familiar, and if he was okay/passable or not. Yes and no, was her answer. Yes- he was familiar because he also went to Xiamen Study Tour last 2009 & 2010(mentioning this would kill me for sure. Probably, if ever he reads this, I’m dead. Ohwellpapel!) And no- He just wasn’t good enough. My sister’s exact words were, “Pangit pangit na!” Huhuhu! Without any hesitation, I agreed with her. Why would I have a crush on someone who was not that good-looking? This baffled me even until now, as I am writing this. I couldn’t find any answers that could answer this situation, and the rationale behind it and the complexities that lurks within..

We don’t normally talk in class unless there’s a group activity or whatnot. Even if there is, we only converse once in a while. Whenever, he asks me questions, I can’t manage to meet his eyes with mine for a long period of time. Normally, it will only last a second or so. I try my best to keep my composure. And whenever he mentions my name, I can feel a strange tingling sensation inside of me. I get curious, excited, nervous, and happy at the same time. I force myself to hide my smile.

As weeks passed by, I couldn’t help myself. I grew more and more interested into him. Out of curiosity, I “stalk” him in his social networking sites, particularly his Facebook, his Twitter, and most importantly, his WordPress blog. His blog made me access into a lot of things about him- his likes, his personalities, his life( What a stalker hahaha!). I was able to dwell and learn new things about him, things I didn’t knew he possessed. I learned that he graduated as the Valedictorian of their batch, and that he was a consistent DL. I found him really interesting and I personally grew fund of him, especially his writings. I got absorbed with them and that’s how I ended up blogging again. To feel connected with him although it is only one-sided. I think he’s a great guy who bounds to have an auspicious life ahead of him.

Although, we share a lot of things in common, I think, I still don’t have the courage to talk to him, or add him in Facebook, or follow him on Twitter/ WordPress. If I do that, he’ll make assumptions that I like him. I never want him to find out, even with the slightest hints, that I admire him. Never. And never will I, as cliche as it sounds, judge a book by its cover.

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